The Greatest Thing.......

“The greatest thing since sliced bread” I have heard that all my life. I’ve heard it about everything from computers to, well, bread.

I remember being in a meeting once, listening to a contractor describe some wonderful product he was trying to sell. There was a group of Air Force civilians and military in the audience. The Colonel at the head of the table was obviously impressed and made reference to some feature being the “greatest thing since sliced bread.” I began to wonder just what made sliced bread such a watershed event.

You could certainly slice your own bread to make a sandwich long before it came presliced, all wrapped in a nice package and on the shelf in the grocery store. I guess sliced bread makes it a lot easier to be certain that the bread will fit in the electric toaster. However, not many folks had those either, even though electric toasters had been invented almost twenty years when sliced bread made its debut in the late 1920s. Good grief, we didn’t have electricity on Chicken Road until just before World War II and I don’t think we used much of it even then. What I am saying is that I didn’t live through the hardship of having to slice my own bread, but I can’t imagine that it would be that tough.

I do remember when we got indoor plumbing at my house. In my opinion, that was certainly the greatest thing since WAY BEFORE sliced bread. The summer before I started to school we finally got a bathroom. I don’t know what other families called their outhouse, but ours was always called Mrs. Murphy. I couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t have to go see “Mrs. Murphy” in the dark and on cold mornings before the school bus came to pick me up. It was too far behind our house, covered in honeysuckle, and was a three holer (two big holes and one kiddy sized hole.) I never understood why there were three holes. Even in our family, which was close, going to see Mrs. Murphy was not a group activity.

When we were getting our indoor plumbing, I remember them digging a big hole in our yard and a long trench out into the field. The hole alone would have been cool to a six year old, even if it hadn’t made Mrs. Murphy obsolete. The long trench made it even better.

Television was a real milestone on Chicken Road, but no one ever says that ANYTHING is the “greatest thing since TV.” I remember our first color TV. Not many programs were in color, but it was a big deal nonetheless. We got great reception, (on a good day) of all the ABC, NBC, and CBS programming. Actually, it was all the great ABC, NBC and CBS programs that WMAZ, Channel 13 carried.

Now, air conditioning; there is a milestone. I remember when people went to the movies not because of the new Cary Grant movie or to the grocery store not because they needed milk. There was a sign out front that said “Cool Inside” or “Air Conditioned” that lured folks in. Some of the signs looked frosty, as if to say, “Your sweat may freeze here, be careful!”

Alan Shepard blasting into space, John Glenn orbiting the earth, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landing on the moon, those were all a big deal to me. Do you ever hear ANYONE say, “That’s the greatest thing since Alan Shepard hit a golf ball on the moon”? I didn’t think so.

When sliced bread hit the market, soon after the depression struck, people began buying their bread that was no longer cooked in their neighborhood, but in a factory, miles away. There was uniform shape, size, weight, and number of slices in a loaf. How boring! Now bakeries are popping up all around, even in the mall. You can again buy it hot, fresh, and yes, they will even slice it for you. We have come full circle, from where we were so happy to leave just a couple of generations ago. So, saying something is the “greatest thing since sliced bread” is not the compliment that it appears to be. At least that's my opinion.

Next thing you know, someone will open a restaurant where customers can cook their own food, just like we used to do at home.