New Shoes

I have new shoes. In fact, I have two new pair of shoes. No, it is not what you think. Getting new shoes is not a religious experience for me. I just have an odd sized foot, so when I find my size at a fair price, I buy them, whether I need them or not.

Of course, having three daughters, I have been exposed to shoe zealots. At least two of them could go shopping for anything; jeans, a dress, office supplies, pizza, and they would come home with shoes. Sometimes multiple pair, often with a handbag too. I buy shoes out of necessity. They buy shoes that are “cute.” I buy shoes that fit and are not hideous. They would buy shoes that wouldn’t really fit, as long as they were cute. One of my daughters is a certified “flip-flop-aholic.”

I ordered my shoes online. They were marked down, had my size in multiple colors, so I ordered black ones and brown ones. I finally got around to trying them on this past weekend. As I was looking at them out of the box, I couldn’t help but think about a young woman I used to work with.

Daune was a very smart young woman, in the bookish way; but she lacked what my Uncle Freddie often referred to as “walking around” sense. She could do complex mathematical equations, but had problems with the more mundane tasks. She had been married enough times that we all knew not to buy her ANYTHING monogrammed. She had several children, one in daycare, others in different schools. Looking back, I am quite sure that getting that crew ready for school and herself ready to come to work was a lot like tending zoo.

One morning she came in late and seemed more frazzled than usual. I didn’t say one word. I waited until she had a couple of cups of coffee before I went to check on her. I finally asked, “Daune, have you had a hard morning?”
A little huffy, she replied, while sipping her second cup, “why no, why would you ask such a thing?”

“Well, I just happen to notice that you had on two different kinds of shoes this morning. That is just a little out of the ordinary for you.”

She pushed back from her desk, looked down at her feet and said, “Well Bill, that’s very observant of you. They’re essentially the same style. The only real difference is that one is black and the other a deep navy.”

“Well, it wasn’t the color that I noticed, it was the limp. That left shoe has at least an inch, maybe an inch and a half more heel that the right. I wouldn’t have made it in from the parking lot if I was tilted as much as you were this morning.”

All I heard was the coffee pot, and maybe a few crickets…….

Now that I think about it, I believe I will put my new shoes on the opposite ends of the closet, just in case. You just never know.

"Biscuit" eggs on my Muffin

After writing about long distance customer service I have had a couple of memorable face-to-face customer service experiences that made me shake my head. This morning, I drove through the “breakfast on the go” spot in my hometown. Since they were advertising a special on their sausage, egg and cheese muffins, I wheeled in to pick up a couple.

The voice in the box says, “Welcome! Would you to try our warm cereal in a cup?”

I spoke directly into the box, “No thank you. I’d like two sausage, egg and cheese muffins, please.”

The voice in the box says, “Um, I’m sorry. But those eggs that we put on the muffins, um, we’re out of those. All we have is the eggs like we put on the biscuits.”

I thanked him and drove away thinking, I had no idea that they were completely different eggs! At my house, we use eggs in the little yellow Styrofoam carton for everything. In fact, on a typical day, the eggs in the morning omelet probably sat RIGHT NEXT to the egg that ended up in the brownies cooked later in the day. Of course, I’d never admit this to Mr. “voice in the box” at the drive-thru. He might have a breakdown.

Just a half hours later, in a different town and a different drive-thru, I heard the lady in the car in front of me speak loudly and incredulously to the box, “Coffee! I just want coffee.”

The voice in the box says, “I can do Pepsi. We just have Pepsi products!”

Exasperated woman, with protruding veins in her neck, “You don’t have coffee? A breakfast place and you don’t have coffee?’

Voice in the box says, “Pepsi, diet Pepsi, Mountain Dew, Orange, you know, any Pepsi products. We just have Pepsi products.”

Miss “protruding veins” drove off in a huff. No coffee; no breakfast; nothing but high blood pressure and a bad attitude. I really hope she got to where she was going without a stroke.

It made me think of the great attitude my great uncle Sylvester had. I don’t really remember him. If I ever met him, it couldn’t have been more than once, and that would have been when I was really young. Uncle Sylvester and Aunt Eunice live in a pretty large town. Their daughter, Alma and her husband worked for years in her husband’s family’s bakery. My brother tells the story of visiting Uncle Sylvester and Aunt Eunice once. Just at mealtime, Alma brought in a pie from the bakery that was slightly overcooked. She was all apologetic.

“Daddy, I’m so sorry that the pie is burnt,” she said.

“Nonsense,” Uncle Sylvester said. “It is just right! If it was any blacker, we couldn’t eat it. But if it was any lighter, we wouldn’t have gotten it. Yes, it is just right.”

So I guess I should have just had the “biscuit eggs” on my muffin this morning and been happy about it….