Winter Funk

For those of you that I haven’t communicated with since last year, I wish a belated Happy New Year to you all! I hope that you had a fine time during the holidays and was able to spend some time with those you love. Now it is time to hang that new calendar and drag out that list of stuff that you were planning to get to “next year.” As I have said recently, I was not built for cold weather. It has been an ugly couple of weeks on Chicken Road. This past weekend was much better, but yesterday and today is more like a beautiful spring day in Moscow than Late January or early February in South Georgia.

The holiday season can be a hard time for some people. With all the emphasis on family togetherness, the holidays can remind many of the loved ones and friends who are no longer with them. Other people make it through the holidays just fine, but have a post holiday letdown. Short days, no big gatherings to look forward to, back to work, and lastly those holiday bills begin pouring in. YUCK! We all develop our personal ways of dealing with these winter blahs. I have found that post-holiday mail can actually HELP. I’m not talking about those nice letters from “Publisher’s Clearinghouse”. I’m talking catalogs! Although the internet has certainly reduced the demand for them, Catalogs, especially seed catalogs, can brighten up a pretty dreary existence. The most memorable one came about ten years ago. Although it was not about seeds, it just brightened my day. Actually, it brightened several days and nights. (I don’t know what happened to these people since this was the only one I ever received from them.) It was so good that I made notes:

It featured a nice lamp with a river birch bark shade. Not just ANY river birch bark, but “bark that has fallen naturally onto the forest floor.” I can’t remember the price, but the description made you think that it just might be a bargain! (and you were removing the birch bark litter from the forest floor too!)

I have a couple of other examples that are quotable:

“Smooth river stones, wrapped by Philippine artisan with tilot vine to create a marvelous contrast of color and texture. (stones are approximately 2-3”) set of 10 wrapped stones $55.” (I’ve looked it up. I still don’t know what “tilot vine” looks like. My computer just thinks it’s a misspelled word. Google couldn’t find it either, but suggested “toilet wine.” I was not brave enough to click on that!)

“ETERNAL BIRDS NEST: Chunks of concrete and rusted wire retrieved from demolition rubble are recreated into an endearing little nest to cradle small smooth egg shaped stones plucked from a river bed...........each will vary slightly. Approximately 6” high. $79.”

And my favorite:

“FLYING FISH PIN: Cleverly assembled from recycled parts of vintage watches, this winged fish dangles a plump heart charm, handmade of brass by a Florida jeweler with a sense of humor; $39” (If they just had it in a tie tack.)

How could anyone read that and not smile just a little, especially knowing the writer is serious and in most cases, show you a picture of the product.

Put another log on the fire and pass me another catalog. I think that I’ll whip this winter funk yet!

Ice and snow in the South

Well, the snow and ice has finally melted in middle Georgia. In shaded areas, it held on for more than a week. That must be some kind of record for this part of the world. We had way too many consecutive days with lows in the teens and twenties. I have said it a thousand times, if I really wanted to live like that, I could have moved to Ohio thirty years ago when someone else would have paid for it.

My wife’s Aunt Lee, who lived in Goldsboro, NC most of her life, would stop the newspaper, turn off the water and leave for Florida every year at the first prediction of frost. She wouldn’t come back until Easter. I always loved her for that because I could identify with that. It made sense to me because I despise having to wear thermal anything!

Yesterday morning I was looking out the window, watching the birds and squirrels in the yard. I commented that the squirrels this winter were the fattest I ever remember seeing. I guess they have been just lying around in their recliners, eating nuts and watching football like the rest of us. Well, maybe not the football part, but I did get the idea that they probably had been a little lax with their physical activities and diet since Thanksgiving. OK. Maybe seeing them made me think about how lax I have been during that time period.

I am just glad that it has warmed up some. Don’t worry. I am not going to do something crazy; I just want to be able to walk around the block without being afraid I’ll slip on the ice. I don’t know what P90X means and my daughter had to explain who Jillian Michaels is. A couple of the guys from church are doing the Insanity workout video. (How crazy is that?)

You just can't believe how glad I am that the ice and snow nightmare is over. I had this recurring dream that they had moved my hometown to Ohio. As pretty as it was, I prefer to visit the snow and ice rather than it coming to me. In fact, I like snow best on Christmas cards, and on TV in fringe viewing areas.

Gifts not wrapped

On my way home from the Mall of Georgia, I began to think about how our annual family Christmas shopping trip really puts me in the Christmas spirit. I know that the economy is probably as bad as it has ever been in my lifetime. However, I really didn’t get that impression with the traffic, the line winding out of the door at Starbucks, or the people searching for a table in the food court. I know that Christmas is way too commercialized, but I love the sense of excitement that is all around when we’re there. Of course, I probably wouldn’t feel this way if I were actually SHOPPING. I am usually just the designated driver and my hardest decision is what I want to eat.

One source says that four million tons of wrapping paper and shopping bags will be discarded during a typical holiday season. If my Mother were alive, she’d say, “You can’t blame that on me. I recycle.”

She certainly did. It was amusing to our entire family how carefully she would unwrap each gift so that not only the ribbon, but also the paper and box could be stored and reused the next year. There is at least a remnant of that tradition left in our family. We have several boxes and gift bags that have been used many times. I suspect they will be under the tree this Christmas morning. (They probably already are.)

As much as I enjoy finding things for my friends and family, I am convinced that the best gifts that we can give are gifts that you can’t wrap. There are so many of these, but I’ll just list a few that come to mind today:

Give smiles. When you are out and about, spread some cheer of your own. Children in the malls, especially the little ones, are usually all smiles. Give them one back.

Give kind words. Those employed in retail are expected to be courteous and wish you a Merry Christmas, (or something more generic.) Beat them to it! “Merry Christmas” them all first and mean it!

Make the call. Between the price of postage and our busy lifestyle, we probably send fewer Christmas cards than in the past. Look through your phone/address book and call someone. Make several calls. Don’t just call your regular ones. Call someone that is not expecting to hear from you. It will be good for both of you.

Give of your time. Everyone always seems to be so busy. Are we all really that busy? We need to be sure that we save some time to spend with those that we love. If you can, save some time to volunteer for some cause that is important to you. If you volunteer with a loved one it will be a real winner.

Give your undivided attention. I am among the worst at trying to multitask. I was never good at it, but as I get older I get worse at it. When you spend time with your loved ones, give them some time that is not shared with your phone, computer or TV.

Slow down and make memories. I can remember some of my early Christmas presents. I remember my first bicycle, a J.C. Higgins model, and a few other things. Of all the Christmas memories I have, the fondest ones were not about things. They are smells, sounds, and times with loved ones. I didn’t feel that way then, but I certainly do now.

Last week, I was on my way home from work, sitting at a traffic light. A school bus crossed in front of me. I could see that the interior was decorated with wreaths, candy canes and stockings. The driver had written on the inside of the windows, “Jesus is the reason for the season.” Of course, that made me smile. I first thought, “When I was growing up, all of the drivers were old farmers who wouldn’t think of decorating their bus.” However, the real impact was the fact that this woman had taken the time to spread real Christmas cheer, truly a gift that cannot be wrapped.

Merry Christmas!

Thankful for Small Things

In just a couple of days it will be Thanksgiving Day. They seem to get closer and closer each year. I remember when it was a long time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now it seems that from Halloween through 1 January is just one holiday blur. I OBJECT. I have moved comfortably into "middle age" and I am old enough to insist on celebrating my holidays one at a time.

A few days ago I went to the kitchen at work and several people had put a Post-it on the refrigerator. Each of them had written what they were thankful for on their Post-it and left it there to share with their coworkers. I thought “what a great idea.” During this hectic time of year, when so many rush from one "celebration" to the next; when our friends, family, neighbors, coworkers all seem to expect something from us. Why not take a little time to think about the things for which you are thankful, not just the big things either, but the little things too.

I am thankful that I can go to Piggly Wiggly, Kroger, Wal-Mart or Publix to buy a turkey of MY choice. I will wait in line to pay for it and be irritated that the lady in front of me actually has TWELVE items in her basket (I’ll count them) and she has the AUDACITY to go through the EXPRESS line.

The folks in Moscow wait in line for hours to buy fruits or bread. The selection we have would astound shoppers in most countries.

I am thankful for Rocky Road ice cream with those little almond pieces.

I am thankful that I am seldom depressed.

I am thankful that my children are rarely sick, but when they are, I can take them to my choice of the finest medical practitioners in the world. Although I will invariably complain that my wait is too long and the prescription costs too much.

I am thankful for those selfless people like Mother Teresa who heard God's call on their life and answered that call. I am thankful that she didn’t have to comfort me or my family, but would have.

Although I am not particularly thankful for poor vision, I am thankful for my glasses that help me see. I AM thankful that I can see…… in color, if not clearly!

I am thankful for my wife, three daughters and son-in-law. I am thankful that they are forgiving and supportive.

I am grateful for the guy that invented dental floss. (I’ll say a special word for him late Thursday afternoon when I am fighting something I ate.)

I am thankful for a supportive pastor and church family that fight a whole lot less than some blood related families I know.

I am thankful for the white line and those little grooves on the right side and those little orange "bloop-bloopers" in the middle of the roads in Georgia. They come in real handy in the rain or fog.

I am thankful that I don't need a handicapped parking place. I am also thankful that I could get one if I needed one.

I am thankful that the eagle is on the quarter, and we eat turkey for thanksgiving, (instead of the other way around.)

When I get frustrated with my computer, my job, a coworker or boss, Lord help me think of those barefooted Chinese peasants bending over in a cold rice paddy half way 'round the world.

I am thankful for my job, my coworkers, and my work assignments over the last 40+ years.

We American can think of many things to complain about, but no people on earth have more to be thankful for. This Thursday, sometime between stuffing yourself, playing/fighting with your family, watching the parades, or football games, or the Christmas "sale" on the Home Shopping Network, take just a few minutes to think about the things you are thankful for. You'll be amazed.

Have a safe holiday with those that are important to you.

Not what I expected... at the cemetery

I knew the deceased years ago. Actually, the children of the deceased were the ones I knew best. The entire immediate family had moved away when I was a teenager. I don’t remember seeing any of them very much over the last 40 years. There had been marriages, divorces, and new marriages. Even their children were grown and gone.

As it turned out, I was available and everything just fell into place for me to go to the interment and I felt like it was the right thing to do. It was actually a very agreeable day. It had been threatening rain all morning, but when the time came, there was just an intermittent mist and a cool, pleasant breeze.

The minister, who did not know the honoree well, spoke strong and well about the legacy we leave, the seeds we sow, and we all have a time like this coming.

Then, suddenly, the music happened. (The minister told me later that he thought, “They didn’t tell me that there would be music.”) It was unplanned, but nonetheless, special music. Someone’s cell phone alerted not only the owner, but the entire solemn crowd. The ringtone, you ask? Yes, the ringtone. I know it well. Bill Wither’s “Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone…..”

I almost strangled…. I tried, desperately, to clear my throat. It just wasn’t happening.

The minister? A consummate professional. He did the only thing he could do. He prayed.

Looking back, it was certainly a memorable occasion. In fact, I'll never forget it. Leaving a cemetery with a smile on your face just doesn’t happen very often.

45 Grannies

I have quoted my friend Dwayne many times. He used to say (and probably still does say,) “people are funnier than anybody.”

A few weeks ago I was on a plane from London to Atlanta. I had settled into an aisle seat, gotten myself comfortable and began to read. I was pretty much ready for the nine plus hours of travel. A nice young lady came up to me and asked me if I could swap seats so that her aunt could sit beside someone she knew. I agreed and before I could get to my new seat, I was traded again. Of course, I didn’t care. All of these trades kept me in aisle seats.

When I finally settled down, I was beside two nice British women, Nan and Janet.

Janet said something like, “you aren’t going to be trouble, are you.”

I just explained that I’d just take off my shoes and would read or sleep for most of the trip.

“You’ll not take off your shoes and you won’t sleep much because we will need to be walking every 30-45 minutes and, since we’ll be drinking a lot of water to remain hydrated, we’ll need to go the lavatory often too,” Janet said, with Nan nodding.

I told them, “I don’t think so.”

We talked a bit and I asked them if they were on holiday and if this was their first trip to America. They explained to me that, yes it was their first trip and that they were part of a tour group: 45 women (late 60s, early 70s) from northern England. They had taken the four hour bus ride to London that morning.

“Where are you going in the US,” I asked.

“We’re going to Graceland, the Jack Daniels distillery and Houston.”

“I can’t believe that they are going to get 45 nice British women all liquored up and then take them to NASA.”

By this time, we were in the air and the nice crew came by offering refreshments. I had water. Nan AND Janet had white wine. Two bottles each. This was not exactly what I had in mind when they said, “Stay hydrated.”

As it turned out, the tour is actually a two week whirlwind tour that goes from Atlanta, has several stops in Tennessee, Mississippi and New Orleans and finally ends in Houston. They will see some of the great places the South has to offer: The Georgia Aquarium, Lookout Mountain, The Grand Ole Opry, and several Civil war era homes in Vicksburg, MS. They’re even going to eat an Authentic Southern Meal. (Well hush my mouth.)

“What should we expect in a southern meal?” Nan asked.

I explained that whatever it was, they could expect the meat to be either smoked or fried. If they were lucky, they may even get some turnip greens and cornbread, if they were lucky. The tea would be iced and sweet, just like God intended.

Nan rang for more white wine.

Before we got off the plane in Atlanta, I asked the ladies if they would be buying velvet Elvis paintings at Graceland.

Nan said, “We’ll buy something really nice there, I’m sure. I just hope Priscilla is not there. Elvis would be alive and singing today if it wasn’t for her.”

Well welcome to America, Nan. Welcome to America.

Election Day

I don’t know about you, but there is a sense of relief at my house that today is voting day. We have had several pounds of unsolicited (and unwanted) “fact sheets” about the opponents of everyone running in today’s election and several of the issues that will be on the ballot. We have had robocalls from all persuasions. For the first time in my life, we have “Important,” or something similar, has shown up on my caller ID as much as “unavailable.” Between the mail, the phone calls, radio, television, and strange people waving signs beside the road, it is really hard to not be not only tired, but completely cynical about what the election process has become in America.

This morning, a friend and coworker came by the office to drop off and pick up some papers. She is off work today, but she and her husband were on their way to vote. They were both excited. They were taking their small children with them to witness the voting process. They even wondered if they could TAKE PICTURES!

I felt a little guilty.

You see, it is the first time that they have ever voted in a general election. They just got their U.S. Citizenship in December of 2009. They came to America from Eastern Europe several years ago with a temporary work visa. They vividly remember life under Soviet rule. Even their names were selected by their parents from a book of approved “non-Christian” names. She has told me what her parents wanted to name her, but that name was rejected by the authorities, probably because it was “too Christian.” They came here, settled here, worked here, furthered their education here, found a church here, and they have contributed here. Today they will exercise a right afforded every American, the right to vote.

It is really easy to become angry, disappointed, or frustrated with the political process we have here. Sometimes it is easy to say, “They’re all idiots! I’m not voting for any of them. Why can’t we vote, ‘none of the above?’ ”

As brilliant as they were, our founding fathers understood that they would not get everything just right. Not only did they make provisions to amend our Constitution, in the preamble to that document they spoke not about perfection, but striving for it.

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

In order to form a more perfect Union….. We aren’t there yet. We do dumb things. We have made many corrections in our 200+ years of existence. We have elected brilliant men who could not lead. We have elected some really flawed men who have become surprisingly good leaders.

When the results of today’s voting are tallied, it will neither fix all our flaws nor condemn us to destruction. We will have elected some frogs and probably have sent a prince or two home. Hopefully, it will bring us closer to that, “more perfect Union” that our forefathers envisioned.

I am proud to have the opportunity to vote, even if I think that the choices aren’t that good. The new citizens that voted their first time today is proof that we are doing something right. I am proud for them, but I am also proud of them.